Friendships are one of
life’s greatest joys, with it we find someone we can share our heart with —
someone who understands and accepts us just the way we are. It is a tremendous
gift when we can have deep friendship with someone from the opposite sex. There
is so much to learn and respect about both genders. But at times these opposite
sex friendships can also be a great challenge.
One of the most
exciting, but frightening, barriers a friendship faces is when one person falls
in love with their best friend of the opposite sex. The feelings are so
intense, and the fear of revealing them can be paralysing.
The gut-wrenching
challenges to secretly loving your best friend
It’s okay to have
feelings of love because of the trust you share with your best friend, but that
doesn’t necessarily mean you are in love.
But it does mean you
have the ingredients to develop awesome love which could turn into great
marriage. Someone once said great friends make great lovers. The longer you’re
friends, the more stable your relationship is going to be.
A lot of good friends
can do things that romantic partners can’t.
Friends say what they
need to say to each other without fear, and good friends are more likely to be
spontaneous with their activities.
Don’t rush into [a
romantic] relationships with your best friend. Many times, people confuse love
with that other kind of caring love you feel for all of your [other] friends.
You might feel like you
have to spill your guts/all your thoughts and feelings to the other person as
soon as you start to feel something. That’s usually a mistake. Find another
good friend you can trust, someone with whom you can verbalise your deep
emotions about your best friend with whom you are in love.
This other friend will
help you continue to show the self-control of letting a good friendship grow
into an even deeper friendship. Hold your emotions, get them out in a healthy
way with another friend.
Friendship is the start
of a real romance
On the other hand,
after you’ve been a good friend with him/her for some time, you should be able
to read their moods. You should be able to get some sense as to whether or not
the friendship has developed into more of a romance for him/her, as well as
yourself. If you see these signs, you might want to begin to talk about them
with the good friend you so deeply love. After all, good friends should be able
to talk about nearly anything.
First and foremost,
good friends should know how much each person values the other. We make the
mistake of demanding that many of our relationships be all or nothing
romantically. Whether the good person you are in love with ends up marrying you
or not, you have had the joy of experiencing real love.
Real Love
Real love is rich, pure
and self-sacrificing. To experience that kind of love with anybody is a
priceless gift.
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